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I'm so sorry Suzzie. Your dad sounds really sick. It still wasn't your fault, though. It was your dad's duty to protect you and because of his own issues/problems he failed to do that. In addition, he crossed a parent/child boundary that he should have never crossed. He was the adult and you were the child.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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