Thanks TheByzantine and Elana05 for your posts. To TheByzantine: I think Ive spent most of my time in isolatation because its easier, its what Im used to and because Im scared of letting people in. There was this incident when I was younger where I was naive about the negative side of life. I was open and free. Then my best friend at the time kind of insulted me and said he didnt want to be my friend anymore. That really hurt and from that moment I believe I didnt let people in easily after that. Spent most of my time by myself because I didnt trust people not to hurt me. I didnt want to get hurt like that again. This occured at around 6,7 yrs old I think (Im not sure). My games console and tv life I think started earlier. I could have developed a good connection with my mum but my brother teased me about being a mummy's boy.

To Elana06: I can understand the quote, depression is like a loss of mental cohesion and mobility. Vitality is energy and cohesion. I think. I will book another app with a therapist (my usual one is away till Febuary). Im not on meds. I was until for quite a while but stopped about 5 months ago and to be honest I felt worse when I was on them (didnt get therapy then though). I dont feel they really help. What made me stop is I dont want to be on drugs for so long. Ive been on them for years and think its healthy to take a break. I dont know. Perhaps I should call my psychiatrist (not therapist) about it.....I dont see my psychiatrist anymore because its too expensive (3 times more the therapist). But I think I can call without being charged.