I always used to freeze up with T, and the longer I was silent, the more self conscious i would get. I would just sit there and scream at myself inside for being such a dope, and for not talking. Of course, the more I screamed and kicked myself, the less I could come up with anything else to say on the outside. I really hated it. I write pretty well, but talking has always been more difficult for me. Like you and others have said here, the words just drop out of view, my throat closes up, and my brain goes on standby. It's a wonderful feeling, like you'd like to sink down low enough to hide in your shoes, "just pretend I'm not here".
It has gotten better. I email my t each week with the topics I want to discuss (his idea). Then if I fall silent, he has an idea of what other topics I might be forgetting and can offer them to me. I also bring in a copy of the email, just in case it didn't go thru for some reason. He can still freeze me: a question that makes me uncomfortable, a look of that I interpret as boredom on his face, any body language ( a tapping toe) that suggests to me that I'm testing his patience, and I'll slide behind a huge defensive wall and hide.
Dealing with what's inside is really hard work. I worry about whether to bring up each new topic. Will this be the one that finally makes my T hate or dislike me? Will this be the one to which he finally says, "enough, you're sick, beyond help"? I think trust and revealing yourself to another person are very difficult. Judging by this thread, it's something that a lot of us have to deal with.
TC, Quay