Unfortunately, you don't get to choose if you have bipolar disorder or not. However you can choose to commit to taking the meds until you find the right combination. The way my doctor explained it to me is everyone's mood cycles. With people with bipolar disorder the cycles are about 100 times larger (imagine a line graph with "normal" mood being the axis) you then go up or down from there.

The goal with medicating bipolar disorder is to bring the highs and lows closer to the axis line. In other words you don't go so far down and so far up. With the right medication combination you can still be happy and sad and angry and all you emotions, just not to the extremes where they can be damaging to your life.

Give the medication a try. The worst thing that can happen is that you're not happy with it which means you're one step closer to finding the right medications for you.