(((bluemonkey)))
I'm sorry you are feeling so down.
I have been there, done that... and it is a lonely place to be...
just rest assured that everyone at PC is here to support you.

P.S.
I am pretty sure you're post didn't show up because all new members are moderated until they reach five posts (meaning their posts will not show up until a moderator has approved them), but I see that you have just hit 5 posts so all your posts should appear automatically now