Thank you all for your replys! I know exactly why I am an addict. All of the above suggested, mania, a high when the puchase is made (a low when I need to return some), Guilt, shame, and on and on. I've had a wonderful therapist for years. The only thing she can't really have success with me is my hatred of myself. Borderline. There is something out there called Lifetime Integrated Therapy. It is very intense and takes a long time, but she is trained and thinks highly of it. We'll give it a try soon. In the meantime Low self esteem, dislike of oneself or in my case, actual self loathing are at the bottom of it and therefore I'm sick of myself. Any thoughts on this?