I tried to explain to my T why stuff doesn't matter. He says what I'm really saying is I don't matter, I hate that. If that's what I was saying I'd say it, damn it!!!!
I tried to tell him how much the stuff that occurred between my ex and I didn't hurt me. That it didn't matter. I tried to tell him the statute of limitations on those feelings had long since expired. He refused to buy into it. I didn't like that either. It just makes me feel angry, AT ME. It just ticks me off that it should matter. At some level I know he's right and I'm just trying not to face it. But there's no way to deal with those feelings so why wake them up? And I want to talk to him about it if I'm going to wake them up, but once a week just isn't enough, cause the feelings are there all the time once they've been disturbed.
It's stupid cause I get a lot of support from him already, but it just doesn't seem to cover it at times. He's given me exercises for those times, make a list of other activities that will get you redirected, etc....... B^**$(-%! It doesn't help!
I tried those eline therapists, not that I can afford to be putting my money into that, but I just wanted an outlet, a voice and one to answer back. Unfortunately, by the time they answer I might as well have sent a snailmail to Santa, the response would be as quick.
As I hope is obvious, I'm just ranting here. He really is a good t, and I know he's got what's best for me as his priority in my treatment. I'm just supremely frustrated right now. It doesn't help that the ex left a message for me on the phone last night, and will be stopping by uninvited at some point this week. Don't suppose that's helping any of these feelings. Arrrgghhh!

Thanks for listening, Quay