Every once in a while I miss Jesse a little. Not so much that it hurts anymore, but it's that uncomfortable missing feeling, just before heart ache. But I'm not going to let myself find him again. It's too soon and as I've already witnessed it's not going to do or change anything. All it will do is make me upset with myself.

So I've promised that I'm not going to go looking for him or his fb or his msn, for a whole year since the last time I spoke to him (Halloween). If I still feel the same about missing him or wonder what he's up to by that time, I'll let myself go see. If I don't care to find him again then I wont.

I don't even know if it's a good thing to do, but it's a whole year of NOT seeing him. For Rachel, I'll never get back in contact with her, but.. I dunno. It's already been a month since the breakup, and in about 5 days it'll be their three month anniversary. I feel fine about it, a little uncomfortable missing but that's all. By Halloween next year there is a high chance I won't even care at all to find him, but even if I'm curious I'll be completely healed and protected against anything he might throw at me.

I dunno, this just gives me a "goal" to work for I guess. A rule not to break.