I've already filed a quit claim so I can't get any profits out of the house if he sells it. He wrote it in the divorce decree (that I was too overwhelmed at the time to have looked at by a lawyer). It can't stop the bank from coming after me if he ever defaults, though, and the house was bought with my VA housing certificate, so even if I COULD afford to buy my own place, I can't. At least not with the VA bennies that come in extremely handy - no down payment, low closing costs, low interest rate.

I feel like he's still living off of me sometimes, and he can't even send along grocery money when I have the kids during his visitation time.

That's probably why I can't get rid of him from my head. He's still sucking something out of me that I don't give him permission to (meaning the housing situation. I've already been told by the VA that I can't do anything about it. I have to just sit around and wait for him to refinance. He *****es about the high mortage cost and how much he could save if he did a refi, but something's keeping him from doing it. Probably the satisfaction of knowing it bothers me that another woman is living in MY house that I could end up paying for. I guess if he wanted to be a huge jerk, he would have defaulted years ago).

How do men get over it when they lose their house to the woman and a new guy moves in? That's the position I'm in. I gave up everything to get away from him, but I'm still not away.