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lynn09 · Nov 09, 2010, 08:38 PM

Hey, again, Cherrios! I get what you mean about it being a "WOW moment" - I've just been experiencing the same thing having recently found out that I have pretty severe ADHD/ADD - explains a lot of the "whys" of the past 60 years of my life! When you start putting the pieces together, it gives you a brand new perspective on things, doesn't it? As for my ability to read people - I've just had a lot of experiences in my life. We humans are more alike than different, so I've extended that old saying, "Know thyself" (attributed to a number of Greek philosophers), to "Know thyself that you might know others." I imagine myself in the other person's situation and then draw on my own experiences in similar situations in order to get some sense of what that person is probably experiencing and feeling - and I pay close attention to the specific words and phrases they use to describe their feelings, too, which reveal the more subtle aspects of their perspective.

I'm not surprised that to date you have not been comfortable with fully disclosing your true feelings to your T and family members - again, that would be acknowledging the vulnerability and fear that you are trying to protect yourself AND your family members from. You might want to print out a copy of our conversation here and other posts you've made where you have been able to more honestly express your feelings and give it to your T at your next appointment. It's often much easier to hand someone a piece of paper than it is to look them in the eye and tell them what you are experiencing - especially when admitting to those feelings makes you feel traumatized and victimized all over again!

As for your brother and parents - they, too, are more than likely suffering from PTSD even though they did not experience that accident personally, especially your younger brother since he was present and witnessed the "assault." But, seeing their daughter/sister lying helpless in the ICU in a life-threatening condition and them being helpless to do anything about it can be just as traumatic as your experience. I'm sure your parents have deep-seated feelings of guilt and powerlessness because they could not protect you from that event, they couldn't take your physical pain into themselves for you, they couldn't make you heal, etc., and your brother probably feels "If only I had done this or that...". All of you are trying to be brave by hiding your emotional pain from each other to protect each other - that's so sweet; however, it's counterproductive - you all need to fully heal from the psychological traumas resulting from that event and your subsequent struggles.

Once you discuss this with your T, your T can tailor your therapy to address the issues specific to PTSD or may even refer you to another T and/or Pdoc with specific expertise in treating PTSD. Once you have that in place for yourself, you might even want to involve your parents and brother in some joint sessions with you and your T to help them deal with their own emotional traumas. This presents an excellent opportunity for your entire family to work on these issues together and provide the understanding and support you each need so that none of you has to suffer alone and in silence.

What do you think? lynn09