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Hunny · Nov 09, 2010, 08:47 PM

Rhiannonsmoon

What good self-care you did on the trip to the hospital on the bus. Those were two huge life changing events, Rhiannonsmoon, wow.

I pray you can continue to find gentle and calm ways to help yourselves within till everyone feels safe to come back into your interior presence. It's been quite an ordeal for you all.

For me when the shock of an external event came or comes my way I have noticed that things 'appear' quiet within. I think it was a way I/we cope/coped in chaos and trauma of early life and it just continued into adulthood.

Much later the responses (or internal communication) from the various parts begins to come (in) or however I/we express them. I notice some parts are unable to speak or even write for some days, even weeks after an external event. It seems to depend on who was involved and what happened. Silence seemed appropriate, if you see what I mean.

I'm not sure if this is helping but it takes really a lot of courage to reach out for help the way you did Rhianasmoon, and we respect your asking and know it will get better within, eventually.

Is someone able to help you and DJ for a bit longer? Even though you are experienced with health matters you still need some caretaking when it happens to you.

When our h was in hospital we were not diagnosed as yet but our friend helped us calm...even though we never really got it till much later what had and was happening. She would come over almost everyday and sing to us. We cried so much in those days with all the confusion and fear.

It is okay to reach out for help from family, neighbours and community too, Rhiannonsmoon as long as you need to. I know it is hard to do when you have been self-sufficient. It doesn't mean you are weak or anything just need a bit of a hand

All the best...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Everyone has been so quiet. I can feel Morgana there just watching me but not thinking anything and definitely not speaking to me.

When DJ had the heart attack she got us showered, dressed, decent and on a 3hr bus ride to the city. It looked like I had my hands crossed in my lap, but it was Morgana holding my hand all the way there. She didn't take over, she just made sure I was able to do what had to be done.

I cried on the way home in the car with my SIL. I have not left the house to make a trip like that in over 4 years now. I thought I would feel proud of myself but all I could do was cry. I will admit I felt thrust into a situation I did not want to be in. I felt lost and nauseated, just as I do now.

It's hard to post for help, especially when I don't know what help I need at the moment. I guess if I'm to be honest, I am hoping someone else knows what I need and will offer it to me. This feeling of being lost is something I just can't come to terms with, and the others are so quiet that even though I want their help and presences I am not getting either.

....Can anyone tell me what I need right now? Has anyone been in this situation? I know I'm not the worlds only and would never think it. I think I'm just reaching out for the help of those who have been in this situation....I really do respect experience as well as support, it's always difficult to ask for either....