Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
she is talking about those people in my life that i have loved the most and/or relationships that felt special to wounded child parts of me.
It's true that they did hurt me, and they do have conrolling tendencies, but i don't see them as having bad intent and i still believe they really love(d) me. They've treated me really good overall, despite the pain they've brought me too.
i don't like being told i have a victim mentality and am basically addicted to unhealthy people who are damaging.
I feel bad because i don't have hardly anyone in my life who cares about and loves me, aside from my h and in-laws. I have no close friends. But these two people want to be my friend. I feel like i'm being cautioned to avoid them, when they seem to be the only ones who ever really cared about me very much. I'm invisible to most everybody else.
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Peaches, I know from experience that before you have healed/while you are healing, healthy people can make you feel uncomfortable. Healthy people really look at you and if you don't feel too good about yourself or if you like to keep people at a distance, this is scary. I had to work on being comfortable being around healthy people. I would be around them, let all the uncomfortable feelings pop up and then work on these issues and then repeat until I worked it all out.
So if you are avoiding healthy people this does only leave unhealthy people out there to build relationships with because everyone has some drive to be with people. (The unhealthy people are more tolerable because when you have issues it is harder to really focus on others and this inability to focus on others is what makes it more comfortable to be around them - because they don't really focus on you.)
I'm sure that these people aren't purposely out to hurt you but they probably have their own issues which hook up with your issues and unresolved issues can cause hurt in relationships.