I believe my family discusses things behind my back (though I don't know for sure). I assume, though, it is because they care. It is hard to know what to do to help. It is also hard for others to understand the lack of motivation and other symptoms that go along with BP. I would take my husband to my next therapy session and calmly explain what the family is doing that is not helpful. That way, everyone would have more specific guidelines as to what their role is.