Need to know if anyone else keeps running into this...

People who have known me for a long time know that I honor boundaries to a fault. They understand that if I have violated a boundry it is because I don't understand it. I would never violate someones boundaries intentionally and I get very upset when I discover I have done it unintentionally.

I have gotten pretty good at recognizing the NT knee jerk reaction when they feel I have crossed a boundary... So... I have a script for that! "It seems like I may have just crossed a boundary I shouldn't have. I do not know what I have done. Can you please tell me the boundry and work with me to understand it so that I don't make this mistake again".

I am discovering that it is only a very small percentage of people that say yes to my script and try to work with me. Of those who try only a few can do anything more that say the boundry and use "because" as the explanation. Most just walk away shaking their heads and some get really angry.

I ran into this with someone again yesterday. She even admitted that she understood that it was the aspergers not an intentional attempt to make her angry but she was still angry. OK, feelings tend to be rather random and mystierious experiences for me but I have learned that what someone is feeling just "is" and to not try and change, question or challenge the feeling. Respect the feeling but don't try and "do" anything because it just gets ugly.

Anyway... I don't know where to go. I know which boundary she believes I violated... the "don't waste my time if you don't need me" boundary. In this particular relationship it makes sense and I understand it even if I disagree and don't like it... So I do honor it. I did need her yesterday but I did not have a handy "script" pre-written in my head to explain the need. So I was fumbling around a lot, not making sense and not understanding her replies because we were in two very different places. We were not able to address the need because I was not able to articulate it fast enough for things to not fall apart.

I also know that it is hard for people because I am very smart in a lot of areas (and use big words) but some things that I have less skill with than your average 3yr old. When I don't have a pre-written script or time to write one I can't translate very quickly. I can't say that I "think in pictures" but thoughts, for me, are variations of color and lighting behind my eyes... making that into words is a pain!

1st does this sort of thing happen to others?
2nd anyone got a script or other handy advice for dealing with it?

Other thoughts are welcome too as I am realizing that I have included a lot of "odd" eplainations that may also warrent conversation.

Thanks!