Caroline,
You wrote,[...don't know what to do...hate this...can't see what more I can do to change this...those who might..don't want....Loosing confidence..evrything...I'm..not worth...the length of psychotherapy..not worth it?...can't see where to turn...not sure...the depression will..return---...I've tried...don't know what to do...].
I could offer you support by PM if you would like or open to the forum at large. My perespective of depressison has some similar aspects as you describe here.
Lou