Just from your brief description of the problem, what I seem to hear from you is that you have difficulty seeing people as being both good and bad. Sort of a problem with black and white thinking. If a person isn't perfect then they are intolerably flawed.

Recognizing that there is a problem and wanting to change it is the first and most important part. Keep working for it and you can achieve your goal of having satisfying intimate relationships in time. Welcome to PC!

I, also, could not tolerate examining my past in therapy. Therapy did not help me at all until I found someone who was willing to work with helping me change my thought processes about present situations. You can find therapists who have a more CBT/supportive therapy style if traditional therapy styles don't work for you. Keep trying- for me it was very worth it.