((Purple fins)) - no I absolutely don't think you were stupid at all and you really didn't have a choice, so you did what you had to do, to survive. If he had a gun to your head, you didn't have a choice.

I also don't think we can judge the actions of a victim of trauma because they aren't able to think with a logical mind. They're traumatized and scared - they believe what the perpretrator tells them. It's easy for someone who's not a victim, to judge and estimate what would have been a better course of action. In your case I don't feel you could have done anything besides what you did and I'm so sorry for what you went through.

Child abuse and assault is a touchy issue for me because I was almost assaulted when I was 13. I promised myself that I would do everything possible to protect my own kids and spread the word on how to protect but also empower our children. From a young age I discussed how they should protect their bodies from anyone who might touch them. I think role playing is the best way - so I would come up with pretend situations and ask them "what would you do"

I think people and children need to be prepared how to react in a threatening situation - this doesn't apply to your case Fins. When it happened to me - I remember freezing in shock momentarily. Luckily for me, I found a way out. Most people freeze out of shock and that gives the perpretrator the chance to offend. If we prepare our children and ourselves with how to react, this could prevent many assaults. My kids know how to be an awful victim - they know not to be quiet, kick, scream and run away if possible.

I remember years ago, seeing an Oprah Show on how not to be a victim of crime. The expert said if you're confronted in a parking lot around people - it's better to fight and try to get away, than listen and get into the perps car and suffer a worse fate. Chances are they're not going to kill you in the parking lot in front of witnesses. Now if this is just a robbery to take your purse -then by all means cooperate. I'm talking about kidnapping.

I've told my girls - if someone was to break into our house at night and threatens to kill everyone unless she goes with him - I've told them, they shouldn't believe him and kick and scream as loud as they can.

So in your case you couldn't have done anything different or better. But I do believe there are some situations where we could better prepare our children, so they know what to do in a threatening situation. You're not stupid ((Fins)).