I left my marriage too for pretty much the same reasons. He always made it seem like the problems were one-sided, that my feelings were me over-reacting, and didn't really respect much I had to say.

The thing about this stuff is knowing when you've had enough. For me, I hit my limit one night after years of BS, and decided to leave. As hard as it was, I did it, and I have no regrets.

You have think about what you want. I'm especially concerned with the fact that he refuses counseling. I simply don't understand why someone won't work on their marriage.