First of all everyone that you are talking about are all children. No one should ever be in any of these situations but especially children. A child is not prepared to face such things.
These people are just making ill-informed comments. They don't have any info on what they are talking about.
I'm really sorry that this happened to you Fins, no wonder it makes your heart pound. Have you been able to discuss this in therapy?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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