Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
Ever since my childhood, I've been looking for a friend
who is strong and wise,
who will accept my feelings,
while also being protective of me.
Instead, i get bound up with people who at first seem to accept me -- love me even --
but eventually end up trying to control my life and getting angry and critical when i don't go along with their advice.
The thing is, though, that i look up to them and believe they know more than i do about myself and about life.
And i want their approval very much.
So i go along with it for a long time,
feeling good about their caring and protectiveness,
until one day when i realize that i feel like a captive and that
they don't really love me for who i am.  |
This ^ is really important Peaches. The things that you are looking for in a friend - strong and wise and protective of you, are the flip side of controlling. If you want a friend to be protective of you where is the boundary? This is an invitation to be controlling. Adding that you want their approval seals the deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
We have quite a bit in common, and i don't feel any of the "mother pull" with her because we're close to the same age.
Still, being with her doesn't create the same hunger/draw/need in me that going back to my older women friends does. Those other relationships feel more important and necessary to me, almost like air. I don't understand why this is such a struggle for me to let them go.
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This sounds like it might be a healthy relationship...........