Thanks for posting... you are not alone. It is interesting but there is this "laundry list" of points that feel familiar to adult children of alcoholics. But I think can also apply to being a child in a situation where you were being overlooked. Anyway # 3 in the list is " Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth." I have totally done this in the past. Though lately I have seemed to let it go (with the help of therapy). Idk I think "reality" and "truth" were super confusing for me. I was always being lied to by those close to me -- they told me they loved me, then they did things that did not show love, like disappearing, ignoring me or yelling and drinking. So what did it matter what was truth or what wasn't? Then I definitely also followed the pattern of making excuses for others.
E

Be gentle with yourself.