Thank you notablackbarbie. The T. I see says I was brave too-- I'm trying to see it that way but it's difficult. You know, I've only ever heard-"flight or fight"... not "freeze" included. thanks for pointing that out-- I think it helps, including that makes me feel more normal. I think I'm getting stuck with guilt. was punished and accused of so much that I didn't do when I was little....
I feel guilty for everything that goes wrong....

thanks again I so appreciate your kindness.

fins