First of, Congradualtions on 4 days of being sober. That can help you to think more clearly.

Second, There are many reasons to life for, and you just have tofind those. Here's a few things that I can think of. Your family, your friends Even if his family wont let you see him they may come around, your surgery so that you can heal afterwards, your partner. For all those that you can help after you have gone through this. For all of us here at PC. YOU CAN GET BETTER> And you will. If you need more strenght read my signature.

Just rememeber Don't Quit, or else you'll be more in debt, and more finacial problems left for you family. You can get through this. One Minute at a time if you have to. Remember don't quit on us. We can help you get thorught this.