These people have no knowledge on how children respond to such terrible situations and they are making themselves experts. A child is supposed to have a responsible adult taking care of them with their best interests in mind. A raving lunatic gets a hold of a child - I can only imagine how terrified that child is. I really can't imagine a worse scenario for a child. How can a child think clearly in such a terrifying situation? Like you mentioned, children can't think clearly anyway, they haven't finished their brain development. These people are sitting in their safe, adult situation and taking that perspective when they are judging these children. Judging isn't right anyway, but if you are going to judge, I think that you need to take the perspective of the person that you are judging. Yes, these types drive me crazy!

Fin, I think that it would be helpful one day for you to work through this in therapy when you are ready. (And working through it in therapy entails reliving it in therapy so that you can release your feelings about it there in therapy). Definitely something to discuss with your therapist.