I've been on a stress/emotional roller coaster ever since I had surgery last August and got diagnosed bipolar a few months later. One bad thing after another, then starting grad school, then getting laid off. All after three months of intensive in and out-patient treatment and weekly therapy sessions. I am emotionally exhausted!! So, I am carrying all A's and just found out that I am about to inherit enough money that the lay off last week won't matter much financially.
So, WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CEASING TO EXIST? And no, that's not the same thing for me as the S-word, so don't panic.
I look around, and things are finally getting better for me and my husband. I can't feel it, though. All I feel is tired. I've cried so much the past week that my eyes are red and swollen. My professor actually stopped class Tuesday to see if I was OK. I was so depressed, the tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably.
Everyone keeps saying, "now things are OK. No reasons to be sad anymore"
It's not that simple. I wish it was.