I am so sorry wi_fighter that your therapist compared you to another person. It is you that you should be focusing upon during your sessions.

Therapists llike any person do make mistakes at times. It is very possible that he was trying to illustrate that the assignment can work; to encourage you to do your best with it. Maybe you had a list of things that are not attractive but continue to have you emotionally tied to your ex for other reasons. Criticism on how you are raising your children for example; if I understood correctly. Could it be possible that when you were not allowed to think for yourself, for so long, that you are now struggling to relearn how to do so? I would assume there are many things in your relationship that effect you now that you are no longer together. Maybe you need to explore each one individually to let them go. I would suggest you talking to your therapist how you feel about his comments so both of you can make it a stronger and more productive healing process. An honest discussion may make him realize that maybe some of his statements are not being translated in your mind as therapeutic.

There is no right or wrong way to do therapy. There is only each individuals way. Please don't feel that you are doing something wrong as this only adds more stress to your life. You will progress at your own rate as you are ready. Keep us informed as to your progess as I am sure it will come.

Good luck with making this a more positive experience for you to heal. Remember it is your time not someone elses.