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Originally Posted by sundog
((((((((((((((anjelmarie)))))))))))))  I think it's important to get this stuff out and I for one am more than happy to listen. I'm sure others are too. That's what this site is for!!!! (((((((((((((((anjelmarie)))))))))))))  I do think your therapist is on to something when she encourages you to move out. But I totally understand that that would be a big, scary change. I also have a hard time with change. I think a lot of people do. It's one reason many people stay in bad situations. But I'm thinking perhaps this really is something worth exploring. Perhaps it would be possible for you to rent something like an in-law unit in someone's house. That way you could have your own private space, but it would be cheaper than renting an entire apartment on your own. I'm not sure where you live and what sort of options are available, but I hope there are some options you can explore. Another thought is that perhaps you could house-sit for someone. I have seen ads on Craigslist for house-sitters. People who are away for a long time and need someone to live in their home and take care of basic things (bringing in the mail, watering plants etc etc).
In the meantime, I'm really glad your niece will at least be at school for part of the day from next Monday.
Wishing you as much peace as possible ((((((((((((((anjelmarie)))))))))))))) |
Thanks Sundog,
I have been online for hours since i'm alone. I try to take advantage of it, however i get nothing done. I will look into house sitting, i never really thought of that. Your right change is scary. I admit i am afraid of being alone. I have been thinking of moving back to where i grew up. I dread it in a way because i feel like going back would be a failure. Things didn't work out and i'm back. None of my family even lives there anymore. I have close family friends that still live there, my mom is buried there. Its familiar, its nice. I moved to a city, i grew up in a suburb. I am more comfortable in the suburbs not to put down city's. The problem going back there is i don't want people to know whats going on with me. People are busybodies there. They will be questioning me. I feel embarrassed about my life. I never married (i won't get into why), never had kids and when i go around people i grew up with everyone has kids, most people are married or divorced. People have lives, they are living ok. I feel like i have nothing. I get on facebook and see everyone elses pictures of their families, and see people talking about what they have done or are doing and i feel bad about myself. I never post on facebook. I feel i have nothing to say. Everyone ignores me. Nobody emails me much anymore, or calls to see how i'm doing, am i even alive. I feel like my bf is all i have.
I'm very down lately. Being home everyday and doing nothing is not helping. I feel like i'm not worth anything. I don't contribute to anything, i don't do anything constructive. Oh i don't want to continue on. I get tired of hearing my ownself. Thanks for responding though i do appreciate it.