hi angel i'm hoping you see a therapist. this is way too much for one person to endure. i don't know your situation but could you plan a visit to see a family member? if nothing else it will break the momentum of all that's going on and/or take you out of the situation for a few. if not family, how bout a friend who lives at least a little away. i totally understand about liking quiet time etc. it keeps my bipolar quiet too.
your bf doesn't sound like he's there for you emotionally. this is not good for you. we all need to feel safe, loved and comfy in our own home. that's why i live alone with my dog. but until you decide differently with the bf situ. i'd take a trip to visit somewhere. the other thought is definitely discuss this with your T if you have one. hugs and do hope you can get some emotional relief.