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lynn09 · Nov 11, 2010, 11:27 PM

Hi, Cherrios! Right - sometimes we get so focused on this one thing that we just want to get done that we forget to put it in perspective by stepping back and seeing it in relation to the whole. It's like concentrating on one brush stroke in a painting and missing out on the masterpiece!

Sleep is soooo very important; however, there are those times when we get so wound up about things and have pumped all sorts of stress hormones into our systems that it takes a bit more time to wind back down. Hope you are able to get good restorative rest tonight.

I don't think you're re-victimizing yourself by posting on PC. I think it's more likely that your mind is trying to find a way to get all that trauma and intense emotions dealt with. Your mind and body are designed to function certain ways to protect the survival of the "organism" (you). For instance, you will crave certain foods often because those particular foods contain some substance that your body needs in order to function properly - like craving bananas when your body is low on potassium, or craving eggs, meat, cheese, etc., when it needs protein - and those cravings happen without you even having to think about it.

The mind also craves what it needs in order to protect and maintain the psychological health of the "organism" - sometimes it's silence and solitude, sometimes companionship and activity...how often have you said or heard someone else say, "What do you feel like doing?" or "What are you in the mood for?" Most likely you felt that posting here on PC was a good idea...why? Something about it appealed to your mind - saw it as a way for you to begin to really confront and deal with that traumatic event, those intense emotions, and everything that has happened over the last 13 years.

For 13 years you have mainly focused on recovering physically with your strict dietary and exercise regimen, but you haven't invested an equal amount of time and energy to rehabilitating your psychological injuries even though they were just as traumatic as your physical injuries, if not more so. I'm quite certain that most people you are in contact with on a daily basis just are not equipped to relate to what you experienced. Here on PC, people are dealing with all manner of psychological and physical traumas and illnesses, can more fully empathize with what you experienced, and can provide more relevant support and encouragement.

PC constitutes a safe place for you to work on being able to fully express your feelings, to vent your anger, to admit to being just a mere mortal in relative anonymity. Although you are still at a point where posting about the accident, your struggles, and your intense emotions still makes you feel re-traumatized and re-victimized, you need to get all of that out so that eventually you will be able to move beyond it. It's like an infected wound - you have to get the infection out before the wound will heal.

You must conquer your fear of feeling those emotions so that you can express and deal with them. So, posting on PC is kind of a psychological "workout" for you. You said it was becoming a bit easier for you to open up and talk about it, so I would say it's probably been beneficial for you so far. As you become psychologically stronger, you will be better able to deal with the trauma without being completely overwhelmed by it. Just like everything else, you've got to break down that Mt. Everest of emotional trauma into smaller pieces and deal with it a little at a time.

Hope you're feeling rested, stronger, and more positive about things soon! lynn09