When I first began therapy, my T asked me to punch a pillow because I think he thought it might help me express my anger, which he was just guessing existed somewhere inside-- I just didn't know it, he believed. Punching the pillow seemed alien and senseless to me, actually "stupid" is the best word. But I figured he was the expert so I tried hitting a pillow weakly as I held it, then I would look at him expectantly, like "did I do it right? what is supposed to happen when I do that?" LOL. Seems very silly and funny when I look back. T tried this with me a couple of times then told me this was never going to work with me, that it didn't work with some people at all. I still wonder what was supposed to happen.... I do believe, though, that punching inanimate objects does help some clients with their anger, Melba. But one size doesn't fit all. I am not sure the punching is supposed to be healing, but to help clients learn to be expressive, perhaps (F for me). You are so reflective and aware about your anger, Melba, so can meet it head on in therapy--something I greatly admire. I have a daughter who sometimes wakes up just plain angry and I often wonder what is going on with her. I try to understand, and believe at least for now it is best just to give her a wide berth. I know she doesn't want to be questioned about it! I hope someday in the future she will become more reflective herself. (My T has told me that my D knows why she is angry.) I think it is really great progress, Melba, if you are not now splitting off your anger but dealing with it. Maybe I failed at the pillow exercise because I was splitting.