((((((turq))))))) it takes time. be kind to yourself about this. those of us that have trust issues do understand.  try to think about why you are nervous when you try to make friends. maybe that will help you determine if the fear is real or not.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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