Hello.

My first post in THIS forum.

I never believed myself to have any - like i never say "we" i say "me".
I took an online DID test. The basic score to have DID is 30. I got 45.
I did always believe and felt like i do have parts in me. But i knew all my life they were parts of ME!! And also - i do believe this about everybody else!!
Like an "inner child" or i also call this "spirit, oneness, love pure connection with God." I also believe that the movement of the spirit creates the soul - which already is less real then the spirit but...this also has levels in it. Its already more individual to every one.

Anyways as far as my experience (the above is a recent theory of mine) i do know i always had a concept about myself that i can be a good and bad girl etc....the point is i am found doing things i do not remember doing..and my psychologist said "There might be another one inside you that goes and does those things..." when i heard that i felt a moment of recognition

I just read something that someone here posted - about having a protector and another one that SIs - "alters" - i still thinks that they are just CONDITIONS, states of being and not personalities - when we have very radical swings between them and repress - parts of ourself.

Anyways - from the trauma aspect - i do remember a part of me - part of the memories i am feeling like an abused child and part of them...calm feminine and efficient. This has been my "protector" and also - according to the flashbacks - when i was in that state - it helped me to survive. To fight and win....

Well - but you see - i do not feel - yeah i can describe this as "her" - i also have a problem with people calling me a mature woman - i feel like a little young boy! tomboy! And while recalling all the traumatic memories i felt like "her" the mature feminine wise one i have "lost" but i believe this is a repressed part in me! Not a "different personality"! But i understand that since i am not being fully aware of myself....

So this is the situation, more or less. Can this be that i do have the DID?
things.