My therapist has occasionally brought up other clients, whether they are real or imaginary I don't know, but he has always used them to illustrate that I'm not alone. When I said I felt I wasn't making progress fast enough he told me about a client who says almost the same thing every week. He said that was okay, because he had faith that this gentleman would become comfortable enough to move past that in time. Another time when I whined about being in therapy for so long, he said his patients tend to stay around, some leave for a while then come back to work on other things. He also commented about a patient that had supposedly been with him much longer, and went on to say the usual about it's not the length of time, it's whether you're getting something from it.

I don't know... I feel that the way he does it helps me, by making me feel that others are in a similar place. I hope he would ever use the kind of remark atg was demonstrating, that just seems hurtful.

On a seperate note, if you don't mind reading, there were 2 books that I found really helpful as I was trying to move away from and understand my marriage. They were Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, by Patricia Evans, and The Emotionally Abused Woman, by Beverly Engel. A lot of times you can find them in the library. I also like It's My Life Now, starting over after an abusive relationship or Domestic Violence, by Dugan & Hock. I found the 1st book while I was still in the relationship and spent my time reading bits and pieces of it when he wasn't around. I was afraid of what would happen if he found it, or me reading it. What did he ever do to make me afraid? Not really anything, just words, postures, anger, but like you say, I wasn't going to push it and find out what he might do.... I might need help but mama didn't raise no fool, so I think I understand what you're saying.

Take care and don't lose heart, Quay