Hi there. Oh it's been some day.

Backstory: Out of work for close to two years. Isolated because of my location.

The issue: My normal distractions aren't working (volunteering, working out) My faith is waining. Can't stomach writing in the gratitude journal anymore. My negative thoughts are taking over. My confidence and my spirit have been chipped away to rubble. My fuse is short and my tears plentiful. I feel old and that my life is passing me by. If the stress doesn't kill me this lonliness will. If an employer at this point asked why they should hire me my answer would be I don't know...because I don't know anymore. I'm out of ideas. My friends have their lives and I'm resentful..which i'm embarrassed to admit. I am unable to see even the slightest glimmer of light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel. I'm withdrawing. I feel like a failure. I look back and berrate myself for things I can't change. Now the holidays...the weight is heavy. I'm just skating...not sure how long until the ice cracks. So there it is.