Meds are not always the answer. Sometimes, some folks simply will not benefit from them. Then the answer is not to keep trying, over and over again, that which you already know does not work, but to do something different.

The situation with your husband and kids makes it more complicated. In the past I've had to deal with relatives that told me, quite upfront, that they were not interested in having me come by if I was medication 'noncompliant'.

But I felt the same as you, didn't like the weight gain, and the other drug side effects, rather than make my life better, they only made it worse. So I went without seeing those family members when I discontinued meds. I felt a lot of better. I was a little more alone in the world, but I felt better as soon as those drugs were out of me and because I was being true to myself. As my body lost all that weight and I maintained stability, I knew I had done the right thing.

I wish I had some advice to deal with your husband. I really didn't like hearing about how he manipulated you and is basically holding your marriage, your relationship to your children and your domestic piece of mind hostage to his will and your suffering. Let him try the meds if he thinks so highly of them.

If you are going to go off them, bear in mind that discontinuation frequently causes withdrawal psychosis. This is not bipolar 'coming back' it's the effect of your brain trying to function again without drugs and trying to compensate or in some cases, over-compensate, for drugs that aren't in your system anymore. Rebound psychosis is manageable and does not mean you are having a relapse. The drugs themselves cause mental illness symptoms when you detox from them. It passes. I went off lithium myself cold turkey (no one ever told me it was potentially dangerous) and I had no problems and felt much much better and never regretted it.

May I recommend:
http://theicarusproject.net/HarmRedu...gOffPsychDrugs