((((((((((((((((((Rainbow)))))))))))))))))))))))

Why not allow yourself to go ahead and miss T deeply - very deeply.
Allow yourself the RIGHT to experience this emotion.
It is YOUR emotion.
There is nothing at all wrong with you for feeling this emotion.
Cling to it and go very deeply into it.
There is a gem in there hiding - a breakthrough - an insight.
You can find it but you have to allow this to be what it is in truth.
You can't find the gem if you run from the emotion or hide from the feelings.
But if you go into the ocean and allow the waves to carry you where they will - then you will see what you have been looking for.... it is there.