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It sounds like depression. Please go to your doctor, pdoc, or therapist and let them know how you are feeling. There is help out there. And you do have a purpose. Everyone does.
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Lauru-------------That's me, Bipolar and Watching TV 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
---Robert Frost
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