Thank you for your kind words. It's nice to know that can be managed, as I have for several years, but there is the possibility of needing to be medicated for the anxiety problems. I have been treated at one piont in time for anxiety and depression and was very unhappy with the results as far as my mood was concerned. I find myself unsure if it was the depression meds or ahe anxiety medication that was causing the huge change in personality.

Seeing myself fall to a point of apathy I ha become scared. It was one of the things that I had suffered from before but had not made such an impact on my life as when it had been exascerbated by the medications or the counciling that I had been receiving.

I'm fortunate, I have only had one major panic attack in the last 24 hours, and that was driving home from a veyr hard weekend. I'm sure that the root of these more intense panic attacks has been the news of my girlfriend and I having to go our own ways. Coming to a conclusion that things would no longer work in the way that we had before and needing to keep each other around for moral support. I find myself having to be the giver of support right now, although she was the one that had ended things. I am fairly sure that the stress put on me by the most intense relationship that I have been in ending so abruptly and then being wanted around as moral support has done a huge amount of damage to my getting better since I had last fallen to a very low point in my life.

I plan on writing about the depression at some point in time here in the next day or two, as it takes a while for me to really flesh out what I am feeling and make sure that I am trying my hardest to not give a skewed view on what my story entails. I have a feeling it will make me relive some of these moments and I fear that for thinking about those moments shallows my breathing and makes my heart beat so fast and hard that I can hear it and feel it in every shred of my being. For help, we must fight through this pain we have before us. The pain, though temporary can destroy someone so quickly that has little or no faith that things will get better. I'm lucky in finding that faith before something terrible happened to me.