When I feel lonely it seems I want to latch onto anyone who talks to me. I'll go looking for old friends, regardless of if they've hurt me or not, and just stick. If I don't I'll feel restless and anxious, and it only gets worse the longer I go without communication.

Right now, because I hadn't spoken much with my friend yesterday, and only for 5 seconds today and he wont be back for another 7 hours, I'm still considering looking for Rachel. I won't look for Jesse because that's against my rules (though I want to) but Rachel wasn't apart of those rules.. and she tried talking to me yesterday.. so.. I dunno..

I hate myself right now.. I'm extremely pathetic.. I don't even feel like I have the right to complain about those two because I want to go back..