Hi Lynn09, WHOA! A lot to think about!...feeling a little sick (but I just ran a 5K). (And TheByzantine...thank you for your responses....so simple yet very direct!) I agree with both of you! I feel that asking for help has never been my problem, just putting the advice I received into action is the difficult part. Both of these aspects should be simple, but "I" just make it hard. I am the problem! You are right, lynn09, I am a perfectionist, which makes the idea of slowing down with my physical activity difficult, and concentrating on my emotions from the accident a waste of time. I WANT to be right with the decisions I make! But I know this is flawed....I made the choice to run and although I have improved on my time, the pain I feel is more distracting and I am still not happy. I did not listen to doctors telling me that running was bad because I needed to be right...because it worked before....if I had listened to doctors after my accident I would have killed myself a long time ago.
This accident should never have happened...why do things like this happen?
The machine is broken, and I am the machine! I really do want to CHANGE, but I am a walking contradiction! I really do want to feel better about life, but I analyze the situation WAY to much! I will be back, I just need a break!