i cant believe i SI again tonight just out of the blue it just gets in my head and i just want to do it.i feel like such a failure because i just wanted to do it and did nothing to stop me from doing it .i have been good about comming here or writing in my journal or something untill it passed but i didnt feel like fighting.i'm tired and angry.i'm so tired of being in controle i just dont want to be any more it is real hard when i'm so angry.i dont want to anymore and i know people will hate me for it along with my T but atleast i can quit seeing her,i dont know what i'm going to do about my hubby.i dont even want to interact with him or anyone i just want to hide in my head so bad it is hard not to.i feel like i want to totally didapear in my head and never come back and deal with people