Who says you need to have a right to lose it? In my experiance, you can't really control it all the time.
I'm sorry you're feeling so down tonight. It's hard. It's so hard.
I don't think people will "hate" you for cutting, but they probably will be disappointed because they care about you and want you to stop hurting yourself. Does your husband make you feel bad about what you've done? Does he not understand why you cut? I hope that he is supportive, but it's hard for a lot of people to fathom why anyone would willingly hurt themselves.
I hope things get better soon, granite. Know that you deserve so much better. Just because you failed tonight does not make you a failure. You are a valuable person who can win this. Pick yourself back up and try again. Every second, every minute and every day you stay strong is a success.