I sympathize. When I finally faced my abuse and realized how much it was affecting me in my everyday life, I was SO MAD. Mad that it happened, mad at how it was wrecking my life in the present. And boy, was I mad at my mom for what she allowed to happen. I tried to bring it up once but she reacted so badly that I decided that what I wanted from her, I would not get. I've been working on things in therapy for a long time and they are getting better.

You are still young, and perhaps there might be a way to resolve things with your mom so that you don't feel so angry and isolated. Therapy is a good place to discuss your feelings, and if you decide to confront your mom, the support of a therapist is very helpful.

I'm sorry you are struggling. Abuse can haunt us, and it's hard to go to college and realize that because of what happened, you feel damaged and different from everyone else. But you're okay, and you're not different, and you CAN feel better. You are not alone in your struggles.