Thanks for everything, Ryask.

My plan is to get up tomorrow, take 0.25 mg klonopin to calm my nerves, and go off to school pretending that I'm not scared out of my mind and that everything is okay in my head and in my heart.

I don't think I'll be contacting my psychiatrist or psychologist unless I have some sort of emergency. Yes, I'm in distress now, but I'm not in crisis... yet. I know my psychologist doesn't like doing phone appointments, but we never had a chance to discuss the options at any length because of that cancellation. Besides, my insurance probably wouldn't pay for a phone appointment, and I can't afford to pay for a visit out of pocket right now.

The psychiatrist would probably be glad to see me finally using the klonopin that he's been prescribing for months, but then again, it couldn't hurt to send him a quick email asking if he has any magic cures for homesickness/being overwhelmed by school... What's the worst that could come of it?? Him thinking I'm silly? But then again, I just don't want to, you know?

I just want to sleep and pretend this isn't happening.