(((((((((Granite))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I don't hate you. I'm sure your T doesn't hate you and your husband doesn't hate you. I think they want you to be safe. They care about you so much. I care about you. I know it is hard sometimes. We all slip up sometimes. That doesn't make us bad people. It doesn't make us awful. It just means we are human. My T told me something last week that I have found really useful. She said that I should take everything one day at a time. I don't have to think about being perfect forever. That seems so overwhelming. I just need to think about a short period of time. And even if I do slip up, that doesn't mean I'm a failure. It means that I slipped up and I need to get on the horse again. She said that she wont hate me if I cut. She will be worried that I am in so much pain that I felt I needed to cut to deal with it. But she wont hate me. I'm sure that your T and your husband are the same way. It is really hard to accept that she wouldn't hate me if I slip up. That slipping up wouldn't mean that I was deserving of her hate and scorn.

You are not deserving of anyone's hate and scorn. You are deserving of only love. I care about you and want you to be safe. But I will not be angry with you if you slip up. Try to be compassionate with yourself. And I will try to be compassionate with myself.