my t hugs me when i get there and when i leave. but we're both huggy people. it also helps me feel more safe and connected. is there transference? you bet, but we've discussed it and it's okay for right now. it's helpful for me to have that connection at this point. i think i shook my last t's hand once when i met him and never had any physical contact again and that was okay. when i was seeing him, i was at a point in my life that it would have freaked me out if he had tried to give me a hug. i think there are so many variables that it isn't a black/white issue. hey, i just thought of something as not being black/white! amazing!