I posted this in the creative forum but I wanted to share here too...
I have done a ton of healing over the past year... but there is one thing I still have not been able to face. I have three of my four biological grandparents who were alchoholics. My mom drank while preg with me. I started making my own alchohol when I was 12 with grape juice from school - in my closet.

I need to be on this forum for true support.

I need to stop drinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Desire unspoken
Speaks truths unheard
From inside the outside
Not even one word

Heartbeat of longing
Contempt unknown
Promised surrender
In much stranger form

Replacement wanted
For needs unmet
Questions from answers
I tried hard to forget

Shame masquerading
As self-loathing defeat
Whiskey, sweat whiskey
You hide only deceit

My hand reaches out
To grasp your escape
My body trembles
A form this can take

Putting you back
In my secret place
Tears slip down
Staining my face

Longing for you
Please take me away
From what I fear most
My first sober day