I am writing a book this month. This is not my first book, it is my third.

This book I am writing right now is about a woman with DID. I have it broken up into sections - there is her (host/core) and there are 4 of her main alters. The story I am using has a lot of me in it, a lot of my own story. I had contemplated writing a memoir type book, and I normally write fiction (often loosely based off my own experiences).. so this just seemed to make sense.

Something funny about this... I have spent so much time writing this (I'm writing it for National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo - the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days), that now I find myself confused sometimes. In a way, I wondered if it might help me sort out my own missing chunks of memory by writing it in 3rd person (this has helped me before), but I've included a lot (almost everything in it) that did not happen to me in addition to stuff that did.. so it is almost distorting reality even more. Kind of annoying.

Also, a good chunk of what is written from the host/core's point of view takes place in her therapist's office. and I have found myself thinking that it is me talking to my T - so I think about my coming appointment (tomorrow) and think about what will happen this week but NONE of this stuff is stuff that I have talked to her about yet. So that is kind of frustrating because I feel like I am working with the therapist in the book more than with my own.

I don't think I have ever gotten so wrapped up in a story I'm writing before. It's a little freaky. I am not enjoying writing it as much as I have my other books.. it feels so boring and super depressing. Not sure if I will ever really 'finish' this one...