bpd, I went to individual therapy for 7 months with my T before my husband came for a joint session. I remember my T said afterwards, "a picture is worth a thousand words." He just understood so much better what I had been trying to describe for him after seeing me and my H interact and speaking to him directly. It really helped him understand my situation to see us together. It did not harm my relationship with T at all. However, my T had suggested several times earlier that I bring my H in, and I had not been ready, and he was respectful of this. He let me have the ultimate say on when my H came to therapy. It took me 7 months, but I didn't feel pressured.

This kind of sounds like you feel you haven't told your T enough about your home life? Perhaps you have more individual work to do so you will have shared about your home life before your H comes with you to therapy? I can understand about wanting to be the one to tell T the big stuff instead of your T hearing it first from your H.