Good job!!! I know what it feels like to have those little relapses and wanna return, I've felt that quite a lot recently! You're right though, you do deserve better. I suggest setting some short term goals? If you fall back into a relapse it would be good to have things you're working for. Right now I'm just trying to get through 48 hours without checking up (only 15 more hours to go until I can reblock them). Maybe something like that would help keep you in check??